The Nutcracker: Rated R

The Nutcracker: Rated RSome things are better left untouched. Take this season of theatre, for example. Re-imaging the Frank Wedekind play set to rock music as Spring Awakening, was creative. Taking the documentary Grey Gardens and making it into a musical as innovative. But taking The Nutcracker and setting it in the 1980s is just plan wrong.Playing at the Theater for the New City, Nutcracker: Rated R takes the classic ballet and weakly attempts to renovate it into a modern tale. Clara (Juliana Smith) is now a rebellious teenager, and instead of a nutcracker, her uncle Drosselymer (David F. Slone) gives her a record for Christmas. It is by her favorite artists, FireCrotch.I wish I were joking, but yes, that is his name.Led by a man dressed up as a record, Clara is taken back in time to the 1980s, where she witnesses her family’s past in the drink and drug-filled nightlife of New York. She sees a drug deal, a block party, and what I think was supposed to represent an orgy. She even meets FireCrotch, witnesses the consequences of the booze and drugs and (gasp!) learns a lesson about life.While the concept is clichéd and cheesy to begin with, it is the painfully literal execution of this show that really contributes to its failure. Were it performed somewhat comically, even a bit tongue in cheek, it might have been moderately entertaining. Instead, the heavy-handed sobriety that is given to the most absurd of scenes, is merely pathetic. The waltz at the family party becomes a drunken stumbling between partners. The Sugarplum fairy becomes a distributor of cocaine to the masses. And then there is the scene where Clara sees her parents on a date and even witnesses her own conception as the actors perform it from behind a screen.All is not lost, however. Smith’s dancing, quite skillfully executed, is put to use throughout the show, as is the hip-hop dancing performed at the “Spanish Block Party.” And credit must be given to FireCrotch (Adam Pellegrine) for his valiant efforts in his solo in a nightclub. But no matter how high the leaps, this “ballet,” if that’s what you call it, falls flat.At the end of the show, Clara wakes up safe and sound and happy to be home. I only wish I could say the same for myself.